My dads death (the whole story) part 1

On I think it was May 7th my dad took himself to the ER for chest pain. I found this out after he had already left. He said it was just probably a chest cold or something of that nature. Well I decided I better go to the hospital just to make sure. So me and Dan (my bf) dropped the kids off at a b-day party and headed to the hospital (30-45min drive) and when we got there my dad was still being tested for things that could possibly be wrong. So we stayed in the room with him and I remember as he had the chest pain he would sit up and grab his chest, with pure pain in his face. I never saw my dad in so much pain before, but I keep telling myself it was nothing serious. We keep conversation light and happy as we waited.

The nursing returned to the room after several blood test and what not and said something I never wanted to hear. He told us my dad was having a heart attack and that he couldn't tell us to much until other test were done. As he stood there talking to us it took everything I had not to burst out in tears because as soon as he said the words heart attack I was fear stricken. After he left I quickly excused myself to the hallway, where for the first time I cried. Dan held me as I cried. Once I pulled myself together, we made a few calls to update my family. And back to the room we went, to sit by his side. We talked and joked as if nothing bad were happening, even though we all new that is was a serious thing. After a bit they told us they had no room there and would have to transfer him to a near by hospital (about 4-5mins away).

Again with the titles (dont really have one)

I was just thinking for the past couple days about people. There are people that are so upset and wine and have self pity parties all the time, and I look and see what it is that is so horrible (no to make light of their situations) but most of the time its the things that are truly insignificant at the end of the day. No one has died! The worst thing that can happen to someone is death, they may think this or that/him or her leaving is the worst thing but really ask yourself is? Look at it like this in those situations where nobody has died you could at least tell yourself that every ones ok, that you could still talk to the person, IT IS STILL POSSIBLE. I lost my dad and I wine and am depressed a lot and I know I need to look at all the things I still have and everything he has givin me such as my life and I need to make use of that a live the life I knew he would want for me.

So to pull this all together, when you havent truly lost someone, you should feel greatful that they still breath. They still live under the same sun and moon as you do. It is still possible for you to see said person. Unlike the people who are dead all you have left to see is a grave marker. And for the other people who act so oh poor me cause I cant find a guy that is good to me suck it up, stop looking like a spineless person who has to beg for attention from the living when you are perfectly capable of finding the attention you desire if you just open your eyes and look around you.

Anyway I just kinda wanted to bitch a little about a few people that are getting on my last nerves.